Comedian Varun Grover’s take on 'dysfunctional' Mumbai metro has internet in splits: 'They want us to connect them'

Comedian and filmmaker Varun Grover says he has retired from ranting. But, he says, Mumbai’s metro system pulled him back in.

In a viral video, Grover delivers a deadpan yet dramatic monologue about navigating the Mumbai Metro, calling it “the strangest metro line in the world”.

“I know rants have become very outdated and I haven't been doing it for a long time,” he begins. “But now I am not going to stop. This is the final tipping point.”

His main punchline? The metro lines, he says, behave like strangers forced into the same city. “There are three lines. All three have different tickets… To go from Versova to BKC, first you have to get on one line and then get off. Then you have to take a separate ticket for the other line. They are not talking to each other.”

Grover jokes that while commuters are expected to “connect” the routes, the routes themselves refuse to connect. He contrasts this with global metro systems. “Wherever you go in the world… The lines are connected. You have a way from inside the station. We have not made a way. We have not made a connection.”

But what truly sends him into comic disbelief is the branding of stations. Referring to Andheri station, he says: “The names of the stations. This is the name of Andheri station. Mutual Fund Sahi Hai Andheri. Lahori Jeera. Western Express [sic].”

The absurdity of advertisement-style station names — delivered in Grover’s straight-faced tone — quickly became the clip’s standout moments.

Singer Vishal Dadlani chimed in, writing, “Man, that’s insane!!! Puts living in Mumbai into clear perspective! 😂😂 Lahori Zeera station looking to be put out of its misery with a name-change real soon! #NextElectionCampaignIssue.”

Actor Shreya Dhanwanthary kept it short with: “Mutual Funds Sahi Hai Andheri”.

Other users leaned into the humour. “Safar nahin kar pa rahe toh suffer hi sahi,” one joked.

Another simply declared, “Delhi Metro Best Button.”

A third wrote, “My problem is with Fevicol. Who suggested they sponsor Marol Naka which is world worst joined Metro junction?”

Not all reactions were light-hearted. One user wrote, “It baffles me how no one is demanding accountability for literally burning our tax money and shoving the ashes in our faces. This should infuriate all of us.”