Small talk, big impact: do India Inc’s executives appreciate the value of casual conversation?

He spotted me one day and told me that top bosses of the warring telecom firms were in the building, which was why I was not allowed on the floor where the meeting was being held. I stayed put in the building, met the unpleasantly surprised executives when they left and got one of my biggest stories that day.

Our equation was built over a few minutes of talk across many days about his working hours, the “important” people he ferried up and down the floors, how he should be given a small chair to sit on inside the lift instead of having to stand for hours, etc. It made me realize that one skill I could hone further—and would always come in handy—was that of making ‘small talk.’

Small talk rarely gets its due. It is often looked down upon for being casual and unbefitting of a leader. There are no pearls of wisdom exchanged when people spend a few minutes engaged in small talk. Rarely will there be revelations or lessons that will reshape one’s outlook. But it should nevertheless be taught in business schools as an important tool that executives must possess.

There is a good reason for this. For a short span of time, a person comfortable with small talk can make another person feel at ease or heard. That accommodation and acknowledgement goes a long way.

In fact, Matt Abrahams, a lecturer in organizational behaviour at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, has a very interesting take on why small talk can be difficult. “What makes it so challenging is the fact that we can’t have a script. We have to just go with what’s happening at the moment. We often think that it is a test for us.”

The pressure to say something smart, important or interesting to the other person can take away the pleasure of an innocuous conversation. Those who can strike up a chat easily may take the first step, but they are also adept at listening, coming up with quips and distilling a conversation enough to make the other person feel more interesting. It is a knack and a hack rolled into one.

Abrahams has detailed why small talk is more than aimless chit-chat or conversation and suggests that it is in fact “a wonderful way of connecting, bonding, learning, and growing.”

What is it about our workplaces that makes people look upon small talk with disdain? Capable CXOs are associated with ‘gravitas’ and are expected to be ‘measured’ in their approach. These senior executives are automatically expected to be ‘rational’ and ‘not impulsive.’ These are all star qualities in any CXO, but none of them is a guarantee of making sound business decisions.

One of the prime advantages of the skill to make small talk is that it breaks barriers between completely different sets of people. It helps make others around feel noticed and included.

A disadvantage that this skill carries is that its outcomes are not measurable. At the end of a scheduled meeting or long-drawn conversation, we expect either takeaways or promises of a follow-up. Small talk, however, does not have the kind of recall value that can be measured.

That, however, may not be why the value of a casual chat that meanders along without an agenda does not rank high on the list of a top executive’s deliverables. It is probably because of neglect.

Yet, tales abound of CEOs who got ideas through informal conversations, be it on market visits or through internal discussions. Even talking about hobbies with colleagues can be valuable.

A major reason why I consider small chat an art is that many leaders in the corporate sector seem much too shy. They are trained to face the wrath of shareholders and a stern board but perhaps feel self-conscious if they spot a group of executives in the corridor.

While walking past without pausing to chat may be tempting, it could appear rude. Perhaps they fear letting out top-level confidential information. Or maybe they do not see it worthy of their time, which may explain the hems and haws that precede an excuse to slip away. Lost opportunities only pile up this way.

The art of small talk, which diplomats and dignitaries have mastered, must get its due credit in the corporate world as well. This form of engagement is an important part of the learning curve of leadership. Even a tiny exchange could have a powerful impact.

The author writes on workplaces and education at Mint.